The key to learning emotional regulation is reprogramming your mind in how you react & respond verses what you learned to do growing up....that is what DBT or therapy should be doing to help.

Yep, losing my career at 42 & being dependent on a H that was financially irresponsible was the source of my major depression & a failing economy on top of that. So I definitely understand how you are feeling. That is also why I wonder IF the skills I have learned would have REALLY worked during that time of my life. The one major thing I learned is that things can unexpectedly change & turn around so sometimes just being able to tolerate the crap for a little longer. That would have been implementing Radical Acceptance for as long as necessary until things change in our life....something we constantly stay aware of even while radically accepting how things currently are.

Dang 13 years was a long time for me & I was not tolerating it at all..no learned skills....just wanted to escape any way possible. I am glad I didn't because I would not be enjoying the life of peace I have now (even with it's ups & downs).