I have sometimes quipped that, when they wrote that line in the Bible about oh ye of little faith, they had me in mind. I don't know if I could be diagnosed as having cPTSD since I've never been offered a proper diagnosis of anything (too old to make it worth worrying about I suppose.) But I can sure relate to numbers 1, 2, & 3 on your list. In my case, though, I don't really even want any of it anymore. To my mind it's all just a chimera. I just want to be left alone. Still... the way I live isn't something I would recommend to anyone else. So I hope you find the strength to overcome...