I'm also in the group of people who would benefit from more social interaction and less isolation and get anxious if I have to make big decisions or even small ones, but i attribute my anxiety more to bipolar than anything else. I think these things depend a lot on the individual.

One reason is that the anxiety is not always the same. I have better days than others and the antipsychotic(s) I take help also with anxiety. Another is that anxiety rises up together with things like irritability and depression. Peak anxiety is really the worst thing.

I am also not religious and couldn't bring myself to fake a belief system in order to build up a social network. I am sure if I were Christian where I live, and went to church that I would have a more enriching social life. As it is my son is living at home for a few more weeks and we have an interesting conversation over meals most of the time. I find it fascinating how his mind works and am happy to not be totally alone in the world.

I've also tried meetups in the past and never made a lasting connection with someone.

I definitely get how isolated your are. I've tried meetups and volunteering too, going to the gym when I was healthy etc. I think it depends a lot on the particular group of people you run into and how open they are to new relationships and how much you have in common.

It's too bad what happened to your Starbucks. I don't like the atmosphere in any of the nearby coffee shops so now rarely go out for coffee.