I had my annual exam today. She asked the depressed scale questions. She was concerned and I told her about losing T and pdoc being out on medical leave. She really encouraged me to increase my meds until Pdoc returns then we can go from the. I explained the reasoning T and pdoc are trying to avoid it. I sort of agree with them...but I also feel like I am sinking. To make things a little harder I forgot pdoc use to work in the same practice as my pcp. Apparently pdoc was a preceptor for pcp. So she was visibly effecting by the news.

Then I got home and had a confidential letter from my insurance company. It was telling me that T is opting out of being in network. The offered to help me find somebody in network. Talk about twisting the knife through my heart.

Seriously thinking I will take tomorrow off and contact Emdr T about possibly seeing her. Right now she is all I have. I dont know what else to do.