It sounds like the OP is talking about catatonic stupor, but there is also an excited/agitated form of catatonia. I haven’t experienced that, but I did have the stuperous kind several years ago, though it was undiagnosed at the time.

Right before it happened, I was told that I had psychomotor retardation due to severe depression. But the catatonia was different; much worse. I have very few memories of about a 6 week period. What I do remember is moving only when forced to, being forced to eat, and speaking only a few words, which all felt like it required Herculean effort. Apparently, all I did was sit/lie completely immobile, with my eyes shut for almost the entire 6 weeks. My only other memory is of a nurse screaming in my face at a day centre because she had asked me a question and I didn’t (couldn’t) answer, so she screamed right in my face that I was incredibly rude not to answer. I didn’t even flinch. I couldn’t move, or talk. Anyway, as I said, it went undiagnosed/untreated and I came out of it myself, somehow, about 6 weeks later.

I don’t remember how I felt, I only have a handful of memories from that period but, when I realised what had happened, I am petrified by it, and the thought of it ever happening again. I was completely vulnerable. I have no memory of if anything bad could’ve happened to me. I had no way of protecting myself. I had no control of my body or my situation at all. It is easily the thing that terrifies me the most, and I’ve experienced a lot of scary **** over the years.

Catatonia, whether stuperous or excited, isn’t a diagnosis in its own right. Nor is it only related to a few specific conditions. It’s probably most famous in schizophrenia (my current diagnonsense), but can also happen in bp, depression, PTSD etc, and lots of physical health conditions too.

to anybody who has ever had the misfortune to experience this. I hope to god that we never, ever do again!

*Willow*