If he rejects you for not letting him abuse you that speaks volumes about him.

But look, I understand that we need people in our life, and, if he is the only person you have, the only one you are attached to, then it must feel terrifying to lose him, even if he is abusing you. As oddly and illogically as it may sound, we, as humans, actually, prefer being abused to being alone, especially if we have never had a chance to develop a healthy autonomy. Abused people generally have developmental problems (precisely because of abuse) and have enormous dependency issues. Being abandoned in those cases equals to being deserted and left to die. I get it. It is scary to be abandoned.

But you can still take care of yourself and you can start doing it now. Begin with talking to your therapist about all this. See what happens. Then take one step at a time. You can do it.