This is really embarrassing for me to admit...

Although I do not have erotomania, sometimes when I begin to get manic, I get strong feelings of infactuation that are really extreme, and it is often with someone unattainable (well-known, lives in a different part of the country, etc).

I would never stalk someone, but I'll have these strange irrational thoughts of myself being soulmates with someone else. I get "magical thinking." I'm not delusional now, but afraid of it crossing the line.

This is something I've experienced before. The onset usually happens when I am getting manic. Although I've been in a depressive episode, things are beginning to change. My thoughts are racing, and I've become obsessed with certain things to the extreme. It started to come on for a few days, even though I was feeling "down," but things are rapidly changing. I have a strange overconfidence and have a hard time staying realistic.

Does this sound like mania? I don't really know if it's something that I will naturally get a handle on, or if I need a medication change. I am afraid of being "drugged up." I hate that over-medicated feeling. I enjoy the rush, but I have some awareness that this isn't going to end very well, but I feel relentless and unstoppable.

Any help or support is appreciated.