That is what I was wondering.
His story behind the situation had holes in it. Nothing pointed to him being tricked into thinking he was meeting with a girl. And he was really not physically forced to do anything. It sounded more so that he was talked into it, and regretted it. As he has put it, I was his first “girlfriend” although I know of severa girls he really was in the “friend” zone with during his high school years. He’s always obsessed about his weight, still does to this day. And I know, especially after talking to his sister years ago and her telling me about some of the things his mother would do, one example, all pictures she took of him were from the shoulders up. Knowing his mother, and the things she says, about herself, about her daughter, it didn’t surprise me one bit. If you do something she always one ups you. I was this. She’s also heavy set now and obviously very unhappy with herself and certainly blames it on injuries although I do not recall anything significantly happening to her to cause it.

I know I can’t help him, but I think I’m trying to find a way to cope with what is happening because right now, I just don’t have any choice other than to be here. For a long time I stayed because I loved him despite it all, but lately and honestly because of counseling, that love doesn’t seem to exist much anymore, although I do care for him, and I do not want to take our children from him and have no plans of that, but I will not be in the same house with them at the nd of the night unless they are with him over the weekend kind of thing. I have pushed my parents out because they do not feel welcomed by him. What used to be they would see us often and take out kids to spend the night at their house because they have done a lot for us and our kids. Has turned into rarely seeing them, when I asked why, my mother says it’s because she doesn’t feel welcome here. Part of this is because of how things are going between our marriage. Before, he would just go hide in our room if my parents were around or sit on the other end of the table and occupy himself with the kids or his phone, to avoid talking to them other than small talk here and there. This has been from day 1. I also found out about 5 years ago he told his parents the reason I was living with him before we were “together” was because my dad hit me. Which was NEVER the reason, and he was never told that nor told me he thought that. I was stupid rebellious 19 year old who needed to grow up. I wish I knew what I know now, and things may have turned out differently.