Condolences on your loss.
It sounds like she has some checklist and measuring stick, and I don’t think grief or human emotions work like that.

If grief extends, then the “grief experts” label-of-the-moment this as “complicated grief.” They teach this in school.

I wish people could just feel, love and mourn without these self-named experts adhering labels.

Everyone in my family felt the lifelong loss of a sister in her 20s, a loss that passed to the next generation of children who never met her.