I'm really tired. like I'm curled up on the couch about to sleep. I'm so hungry too. I don't want this but everyone wants me safe and not impulsive. Apparently I'm psychotic, I don't know if I agree but would I really know would I? What's the point if I'm always sleeping and eating. Weight gain trigger. I'm not sure this is worth it. Yeah I've even said "thing will get better." yeah just enough to clean it up. Then back again. I need just to hang out until christmas, Then New years, and then my appointment. Maybe I'll numb out.