I identified with a lot of things in your post, thanks for that, and you are not alone, hope that gives a little comfort in itself. I understand completely on meds, it's almost a no-win situation but sometimes we need them or at least short-term and sometimes that 'short-term' we have very little if any insight at the time. You are definately having some manic spectrum symptoms, maybe mixed.

How are your sleep hours, and are you eating/showering/that kind of stuff?

Recently I went way up, down a bit, better insight, then popped way back up with no insight. have leveled off a lot now, sleeping way more. Was barely sleeping long time, barely eating long time, is cool I lost 25 pounds in short time lol, but that's not healthy and my insight was nill for a bit. Sometimes I think it's helpful to remember that things WILL go back to 'normal' but if you are sick there's no insight. It does sound like you are toeing that line here recently, and good you are asking for support.

keep in touch with doc/therapist, they are there to help you. I know some times lately I saw them and honestly didn't hear a word they said but at least they get to monitor you and that makes it easier for them to help when things start coming back together. hang in there.