My mom was dying of cancer at Christmas in 2004 & I was in the medical hospital with anorexia.

Another friend I made after leaving Calif was also dying of cancer at Christmas 2010 & last Christmas my elderly friend died on Christmas day.

This year I an caring for my 2 elderly doggies who are my family & my babies. One is just older & my buddy I found out has a lung tumor. I leave the house to do little things for a couple of hours max but my life this winter is dedicated to being home care for my doggies with meds & special food that I need to give them every couple of hours to keep the weight on them.

But even with this I am just not grinchy but I also don't have my heart into Christmas because my mind & heart this year is wrapped up with my doggie family.

My friends even postponed our Christmas get together until after New Years. One is going on a cruise just before Christmas with family & my other friend is going with family back to the west coast for Christmas & my dogs just need constant care & monitoring.

Money is very tight this year too so that just adds another layer of difficulty to the picture & I haven't had time to make any gifts.