Doing ok. Felt godawful last night, but I'm feeling ok this morning... so far.

Yesterday started off with BAD depressive feelings to the point I almost left work 1 hour after getting there because I wanted to cry at my desk. (I got there at 6:45am like I normally do, but most people don't come in until 8:30, so no one was there at the time I got in.) I decided to fight back the tears and see if I could cope.

As co-workers came in, I managed to distract myself from the awful thoughts by talking to them; however, I lasted until 2pm before I couldn't take it anymore, so I left.

When I got home, the depressive feelings got worse and worse. In fact, the minute I walked in my door, I bawled my eyes out and felt completely lost and hopeless. It was like a balloon that was inflating all day at work and finally popped when I got home.

I told one of my online friends that no one cared about me (which is technically true because I have no friends IRL and my family isn't supportive), but we had a long talk about why I mattered and that she cared about me. Hearing those words helped me feel a little better.

The big problem was that I had nothing to distract myself with because (1.) I couldn't concentrate, and (2.) I lost complete interest in everything. So I pretty much cried myself to sleep.

I'm glad that today is starting off on the right foot, but who knows how things will go later in the day and tonight.