Those sound very behavioral; they seem to line up with the CBT/REBT models.

However, I think we can get hung up on labeling therapy modalities, even rejecting rather sound, common-sense skills and approaches to healthy living because we have an automatic response to all things CBT or all things psychoanalytic or all things whatever.

A great deal of my therapy was behavioral, but my therapist never specifically labeled what he was working with me on as any particular therapy modality. His approach was simply to use what was needed to help me along. So, sometimes we were working in a very psychodynamic mode. Sometimes we were working on behavioral skills. I know that now mostly from hanging around here, but I honestly wasn't even cognizant of it at the time, and it honestly didn't matter so long as it worked to move me forward.

As far as the two ideas you bring up goes . . .

Like you, I was rather cut off from emotions for a long time, so finding those emotions was important. However, equally important for me was recognizing cognitively where those emotional reactions were coming from, particularly if the emotional reactions were out of proportion to the situation. What my therapist worked with me on was finding that balance between emotion and reason, and that is where the cognitive-behavioral work came in. I learned how to process my emotional reactions, particularly if they were distressing to me, so that I could find some balance and not get into an emotional spiral. We never labeled cognitive errors or did homework; we simply talked through it, very step-by-step at times. Over time, I learned to do that for myself, and that was ultimately the most healing and stabilizing concept I took away from therapy. And I use those skills each and every day (without really giving it much thought - it's internalized now). I've remained stable, pretty darned content, and able to handle a crisis without going into a tailspin.

I teach high schoolers (and have survived parenting three of them). They need that skill of thinking through the consequences. They are basically walking hormones and emotions, and that ability to think ahead to the end result is vital. Keep working with your son; he'll get there. He has a good mom.

The second issue you bring up is also behavioral, maybe more REBTish? Doesn't really matter as far as the label goes. This reminds me of talks with my therapist about old mistaken beliefs about myself, and we really kind of worked on this similarly to what I discuss previously. Generally, if I was feeling something strongly emotionally, in this case tied to how I believed others saw me, it was tied to old beliefs. Figuring out cognitively where that all started and working through that inciting event helped me see what was going on more objectively and allowed me to reframe my thinking about those other people. I found I was assuming a lot of judgment from others when, probably, most of that was in my head and very little judgment was actually happening in reality. Once I stopped being so paranoid about what other people were thinking and made the decision to just enjoy the moment and stop overthinking everything, I found being in groups much more comfortable and relaxing. I found myself not just participating, but actually able to accept the friendship and support of others in the group. I also learned how to blow off the turkeys that always exist in pretty much any group; they are inevitable, but rather easy to work around if you choose to do so. I'm a much more socially comfortable individual now than I was ten years ago.