Hmm its very rare for me that I encounter a woman who I find physically and psychologically attractive. There were only two such girls in my life and both of them were scaring me. I couldnt lie to them (and I always lie), I couldnt even offend them. I wasnt just scared of them but also of my fragile self.

But there were many dozens of girls who I wasnt interested in yet preferred to keep them around me. All of them were adding unique value to my life. For example one was utterly stupid yet extremely good looking and cheerfully optimistic. Her value was: being seen with her in public was adding value to me (he can get this girl!), also she was foolish enough to discuss her private things with me and it was too funny lol, then she were always in good mood which was contagious. I kept this girl around as a pet for three years.

And then the was a girl who wasnt my type but I enjoyed talking to her. Yet she began to grow into me I found it amusing to resist her hints. Instead I was feeling powerful that it was my choice not to develop a relationship with her.

This applies to all of my ex girls except for two who I genuinely liked: I was always in control, I was always initiating push/pull cycles, all of them were occasionally or sometimes crying over me, some were becoming hysterical and jealous. I highly doubt that any of them was ever feeling happy when being attracted to me. Yet there was never a girl who could leave me. In fact I keep some of these girls as rare contacts since I know that all of them would have me back if I ever knocked on their door again