it was one of those days where she doesnt feel good and i know she wants something done... i could tell by her pained downward expression and the way her voice became inaudible when she talked....

i figured out what she needed and told her i would take the time to take care of it for her... she'd let it go to the last minute again...

early in the day she said she'd 'think about it' ... meaning if she wanted me to do it for her or not.... i still want her to try and do things on her own and she thinks thats good too.... so, i let her choose but let her know i would be glad to help if she needed it....

the day went by... she ate and rested... it was getting late, so interrupted her watching tv in the bedroom and asked if she still needed that errand done?

she inaudibly answered that it was to late now.. angrily.... like i had failed to help her...

that really gets me.. i offered, etc....

it hurt and i wanted to tell her, but that just makes it worse when she's down like this... so i let it go....

its hard building communication with her... some days are much easier than others.... but she is a slide again and i worry she wont come back up.... then sis will drop by with the baby.... that changes the whole world for mom......

but i regularly fall back to black sheep status.... i do everything i can think of and more... and i understand about co-dependency and 'rescuer' behavior...... she just denies wanting help at times i think and attacks the helper i guess...

another day.... they will get better tho i know.... its always just a matter of time.....

thanks for letting me get it 'out there'