I absolutely agree.

I have heard that my grandfather was a tyrant and dysfunctional as a husband and parent. My grandmother was from aristocracy and married 'beneath' her. She raised her children including my mom with Victorian values primarily based on etiquette. My own mother then learnt from hers. Hence it being drilled into me that what people think of you - whether it be your appearance, behaviours, and successes - is the most important thing in life. To break these rules or fail was to invite her wrath both emotional and physical. Coming up short - in particularly not being popular - was taken as a personal slight against her. One ran the constant risk of being told they were a humiliation to her and embarassment. I was accused again and again fo doing so on purpose.