Well big surprise that ended with me in a cell for the night lol. Told my H I felt like stabbing myself looking at the knives on the counter. I couldnt stop shaking my head and hyperventilating. And then all of a sudden I was sitting on the steps and look up and see the cops in my door. 4 cars lol, overkill. Now waiting at the hospital to talk to mental health. Maybe I should go back on meds now.