(((((((((( Jenn ))))))))))))
You are feeling exactly the right thing....compassion for another human being is never wrong. Even when folks have done things incorrectly in life, doesn't mean that they are not worthy of feeling compassion for.
I hope you can find some peace with how you are feeling. And I hope he can find some peace before his final day on earth.
My thoughts are with you and your ex BIL and your family.

sabby