Sorry I am replying late! I really appreciate all of the responses. I was afraid of judgment, but all of the support and feedback really helps.... and thanks for those of you who shared your personal experiences.

I will make a sooner pdoc appointment. I am definitely experiencing signs of mania. Usually I am more on the depressive side around the holidays with low energy, rather than manic symptoms. Maybe my meds are off. I am going to continue to search for a therapist or will ask my pdoc if she has any recommendations, or maybe I'll check to see if there's a non-profit in the area for reasonable prices to find a T.