Sounds like it's becoming mixed. Have you had frequent mixed episodes in the past? It could vary from person to person. I do know I tend to experience a lot more agitation when mixed and sometimes the emotional outbursts lead to a lot of conflict, which sounds like what might be happening with you.

Please keep yourself safe. So sorry you're struggling with the suicidal thoughts. That's definitely a big concern. Please call your pdoc and keep a suicide hotline with you, in case you need it. Hugs