Checking in, today has been stressful.
For the most part I was in this odd daze.
Just doing work when I wasn't supposed to be doing work.
Having one of those days that "everybody's incompetent, nobody can follow directions or communicate properly.
I know that is not true..deep down somewhere anyway.. there's no absolutes, right?
, however it's very hard for me to not believe.

Some where inside-I want to be around people, like I wish I had friends -actual friends. France I could hang out with but didn't just *****ed- about life ... actually have deep conversations with.. those days don't seem to exist .

I Had to leave my apartment tonight....
Felt like I was crawling out of my skin.
Like many times, like this-
so much in my mind what I want to, could be doing ((I've been wanting coke, have not done that in a decade or so.. but still)). But a lot of those things of what I could do,would have been really counterproductive and maladaptive...
Though I'm still smoking some weed...
I did go get a game too... super smash brothers this one has been on my mind off and on with don't buy it, and go get it
..
I had to leave, and I didn't explain why.
I am safe will stay home, will tell my ex that I need some time if he does come hang out again.