We got the car. It needs more work of course my husband didn't tell me until he came home with the car. Things that I would have fixed right away. I'm so annoyed. I haven't really seen the car let alone drove in it. I'm not happy. I have no idea how much that's going to be.

We were looking into a university for my nephew who completed his AS and going their in January. So we ran the numbers and even with loans and his scholarship Miguel still has to find $2000/yr. He said “fine I’ll work.” It wasn’t what he said it’s how he said it. I can’t even get him to do basic chores daily and he has yet to do his 100 hrs volunteering he needs. Hell I have to remind him wake up and to shower. So if he goes there he’ll start off with $40-50k in debt. He wants dorm (which is wonderful opportunity for him). Where we “want” him to go to it’s “only” $20k+ and the $2000/yr. If he stays home and goes to the local college he doesn’t have to take out loans plus he’ll earn money. This doesn’t included extras like a car. I don’t want him to have debt.

I’ve been thinking of going back to school. I have been for awhile it’s not what I want to do but it’s something and it’s something I might be able to work from home. In a 1.5 yrs we lose about a 4th of our income. It scares me. My husband did not do well in his classes. So I’m hoping I’ll do better at an online tech school. I know I can technically work part time but I’m unsure if I really am capable. My physical disability would be taken care of by my husband being home and helping me but the bipolar/SzA leaves me unsure whether I can even make it through the course.

I’m questioning whether or not I’m truly sick. I know my husband is right now and my son is. Come Monday I need to make appointments. Our insurance is changing. Myself and my son are going into a managed care program for “serious mental health”. For some reason My husband isn’t in the program so I have to call about that. Anything I do I second guess myself. I have to convince my husband to drive further away and that for now we need weekly sessions. We may have to change anyway because our insurance has changed.This means they are going to have to fight for my ODT all over again and I don’t have a huge stockpile of ODT maybe a week worth. I’m really concerned. I’m not to sure if I’m too sick to see my issues or what.