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What things does your T do to make you feel safe?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">He sometimes directly asks me, "what can I do to make you feel safe?" I like that. Because he can't know everything that will help me, because I'm unique. So I like that he asks. Simple.

I have asked him before to turn down the lights, and he complied.

Also, the way he looks in my eyes, and I see his warmth and caring.

I think having a mutualistic relationship makes it "safe" for me to share, so he self discloses to foster that.

The thing that does not make me feel safe is that we no longer have confidentiality. It can really make me insecure. I try to push it away, but it lurks.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mckell13 said:
Soo.... in my statement I am assuming that my T doesn't want to work with me and will only do so if I directly ask for her attention.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This reminds me that two sessions ago, when we were talking about my protector male ego state, I was telling T that this male was mad at him for ignoring my teen ego state. And T asked me to tell the male, that yes, he has seen the teen, but he has to be invited (to interact with her or talk about that time in my life). And thinking back on it, I have never invited him into that part of my life. I have just dropped hints and expected him to just jump to. And he is saying he needs more of an invitation. There was something very respectful of my boundaries in that statement, and something empowering to me. I need to ask, *******it! So anyway, McKell, this reminded me of what you wrote, and I think there is some truth there--that we need to directly ask. And there is nothing wrong with that. It is a pattern in my life that I am scared to ask for what I need, and therapy is a safe a place as it's going to get to practice that skill.