When my husband and I did counseling, my husband would tell the counselor that I was passive aggressive.
I get it, I AM passive aggressive. However I don’t think I’ve always been this way, honestly, I’m pretty sure I was not. But over the course of our marriage, not being able to communicate with him, it’s difficult.
I don’t know how to address this. I’m told in my own counseling, that when I need to tell him how something makes me feel, to just tell him.
When I tell him how I feel, he turns it around.

An example most recently, I asked him to come to our room so I could talk to
Him not in front of the kids. Now I was not angry with him, and was only asking him to go in there because I personally know when we talk it can go south very quick even the simplest conversations.

He says to the kids oh daddy’s in trouble.
That threw me off of what I was even going to say to
Him initially. So it has now turned into how that just made me feel.
I explained that I had no intention of “getting upset” and was only wanting to tell him that I wanted him to come with me to the store and then afterwards we put up Christmas decorations together. I told him that really hurt that he did that in front of the kids, making me look like a bad guy, because ultimately our kids see us fight constantly and it’s not a good portrayal of a healthy relationship.
He immediately turned around and said well I don’t feel like I can make decisions. Is there a chart or something that tells me what decisions I can make.

This is a constant thing with him, he’s done it since the beginning of our relationship. I tell him how something makes me feel, and his reaction is always that wasn’t my intention. In some cases I get a I’m sorry, but any I’m sorry is always followed up with I’m sorry you took it that way it wasn’t my intention.

Is there a word for this type of behavior? And does anyone know if this is normal for someone to push a person to become passive aggressive.
We have really poor communication. He doesn’t like to talk about feelings, but it seems he talks to others about his feelings.