I am sorry to hear this is a struggle but you definitely are not alone.

My answer to your question is to give yourself freedom to make a mistake. I developed a love for cooking but only after I stopped worrying about perfect results. I despise my ex for many things but his greatest gift to me was the freedome to make a mistake. I really hold appreciation for this. I have posted elsehwere about my need for success. Ironically, cooking is one example I was able to move beyond this - and I am so very thankful

Are you on your own? I ask because after I left my husband I suddenly was thrown into the position of having a great deal of freedom. Self discovery was but just one result. I found myself with the opportunity to experience things I had previously not been in the position to try and enjoy.

For example, it was only after leaving the confines of a restrictive relationship that I experienced and came to the realisation that my true passion is one for the outdoors.

I am in a new relationship now but it is one based on the recognition of each other's wants, needs, and yes, passions.

So my answer then to finding your own passion is to give yourself freedom - freedome to make a mistake, and freedome to explore and experience what you might not otherwise.