I almost fell back into my old worst habit yesterday because nothing makes me feel worse about myself than that and I for sure need to punish myself like crazy. However, I realized, even if I did do it again, you no longer care. Your care for me, has ended. I am only "just a job" and I can't understand why anyone would want a job helping people only to pretend to care and like them and in the end, hurt them and leave them.

I'm glad you can walk away from this like it was nothing, because it was obviously nothing to you, but this will be hell for me... and my biggest support, will be gone. Sigh....

Trust no one. Ever.