Thanks, octoberful! I really relate to most of the article you posted, maybe not that much to the emotional dysregulation/reactivity part (perhaps because I am quite good at detaching at will and ignoring the fluctuations) but the rest is fairly accurate. Including the recommended strategies - I have indeed tried many of those things and more. The problem usually for me, like with most things that tend to be problematic in my life, is consistent discipline. I do think that the discipline issue is partially related to the inherent dynamic of this BP II-ish pattern, i.e. not wanting to follow the recommended treatment because those hypomanic type states with high energy, motivation and focus feel very pleasant and are often extremely productive without actually becoming too extreme and disruptive (like full-blown mania would be). I definitely agree it is not easy to convince me to follow a good routine in all areas of life.

I do try to schedule sleep and eating as well but I often mess up because I just give in to what I feel like doing in the moment. My sleep and eating schedule is not too bad these days though and I don't want to over-regulate because (1) I had an eating disorder in the past and (2) I got hooked on the darn alcohol in my early 30's exactly because I wanted to regulate my sleep consciously with alcohol while working very hectic and unhealthy schedules.

That mood tracking can be very useful as well because it is easy to lose a sense of reality among all the different states while in them - why I tried journaling in the past. Again, my issue is consistency and keeping it up. Actually even re-reading my posts on a thread like this can be quite helpful.

A good part of my discipline problems, in addiction to what comes from these internal states of motivation, is something else I wrote about at times on other people's threads. Not having learned a good discipline in childhood because there was no one who would enforce it or keep track of it, like many parents do with their kids. Mine mostly let me do whatever I wanted and when I wanted, very little control or checking on my school work, for example. My parents were pretty responsible people but I guess they did not feel a need because I was doing fine for the most part simply just following my own natural ways and I was a pretty well-behaved kid, no extremes or difficult behaviors that would have presented concern back then. Except the eating disorder maybe, but I don't think my parents had an understanding of that and I was still doing generally above average on most ordinary tasks and my parents were not really observant or versed in deeper psychology. So that's a childhood experience component for me. I really think the bipolar-ish pattern is biology/physiology for the most part - it runs in my family and I am still one of the luckiest cases.

You see, the discipline and consistency issues are exactly why I always say I would have liked to have a no-BS, challenging and reasonably tough therapist. I know those things work really well for me because it's what I was lacking as a kid and rarely found in relationships as an adult to the level of my liking. But it is not easy to find someone who does that really well and respectfully (and not out of insecurity-based aggression, which is more common and that I refuse to engage with), especially in the therapy biz. If I was convinced I found someone like that, I would maybe give it a try again. I expected my last T to be that way more but he turned out much more soft and laissez-faire. I do tend to really like collaborating with people who have stellar discipline and effort, are no-nonsense, BS-resistant, direct and goal-oriented - I think because I have those values as well but not enough of the consistency. That can serve as a very effective inspiring force for me. But perhaps it is also true that they represent my hypomanic ideals and those states are... well, not truly sustainable. I do know a bunch of people who kept up what seemed that level of discipline and effort for many years when younger and got very burned-out by middle age. I actually had a string of romantic partners (usually men 15-20+ years older than me) like that also in my 20s and 30s. In a large part, I know they got drawn to me and developed quite deep relationships with me because it was something different, a pleasant and refreshing break from the hamster wheel, and we had enough common basic values for the relationships to work well. I know that when I fantasize about finding a therapist with that style, I feel nostalgic about those times and wish them back. I now have a very nice romantic partner who is much more mature and balanced and sometimes I do find myself wishing it was more like one of those guys from my past, but I know he is more healthy for me at this stage of my life.

I can write more about schedule sometime later. I do agree that the diagnosis does not matter much - I don't mind it because I find the descriptions useful, but what matters truly is the strategy to deal with it and a lot of that is highly practical.