I had a similar experience with ex-T and ex-MC, who didn’t charge. With Ex-T, she never let me know I was emailing too much (more a length than frequency issue) until I asked her about not replying to one where I was really upset. And then she said how they kept getting longer, she only has so much time, etc. it led to rupture. Ex-MC kept reassuring me that it was fine, he’d let me know if ever too much, then he just abruptly told me I had to cut back.

So I feel a bit more secure with current T, who charges for longer ones. Most of the time though he doesn’t charge, and it’s not always clear to me what will cross that threshold. And what will be too many free ones. But he’s reassured me he’d let me know early on if they were bothering him at all, not wait till it got to breaking point like ex-T and ex-MC. I recently checked in, and he said I’m nowhere close to that line. So I feel safer with this arrangement. And texts are only for scheduling (though I’ve bent that rule once or twice—first time he was annoyed, second understanding because I was in a bad place).