Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
So I feel a bit more secure with current T, who charges for longer ones. Most of the time though he doesn’t charge, and it’s not always clear to me what will cross that threshold. And what will be too many free ones. But he’s reassured me he’d let me know early on if they were bothering him at all, not wait till it got to breaking point like ex-T and ex-MC. I recently checked in, and he said I’m nowhere close to that line. So I feel safer with this arrangement. And texts are only for scheduling (though I’ve bent that rule once or twice—first time he was annoyed, second understanding because I was in a bad place).
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I don't think it can ever be easy and simple to draw very clear and steady lines if they decide to allow some emaling for free. What would be the rules? Character/work count per week? I doubt that would work out well. And what would constitute as a true need, crisis or whatever? As long as it has any freedom in it, I just can't see how to put super clear-cut boundaries on it other than work with it intuitively, but intuition will always be subjective and influenced by their own judgment.
What I did not find helpful in the past was when the T engaged in emaling with me in a very messy and defensive manner that clearly reflected their own mood and fluctuations more than anything else I could recognize either in myself or reasonable boundary fluidity. But if one wanted to make very clear rules, I doubt there is anything that cannot be questioned than not doing any between-sessions communication at all and making that clear from start. Otherwise it's always a two-way game. I think how a client perceives what goes on between sessions is influenced a lot by the Ts overall behavior, including how they are in session, and the client's own state as well.