I told my T from very early on that I needed him to not emotionally react to stuff.
There are two reasons. The first is that if the stuff I said upset him I'd stop telling him that stuff because I'd feel the need to protect him.
The second is that I'd also want to get a reaction out of him and it would reinforce attention seeking behavior, like hurting myself.

Because of this, I don't know how much of his lack of emotional expression is for my benefit, how much is the way he is with all his patients, and how much is him not feeling that strongly in the first place.

I think I'm at a point now where it would actually be helpful for me to get more in the way of an emotional reaction.
It's hard for me to let myself get emotional about something when he looks so calm and unaffected. Sincere, but reserved.

He says things like that I wouldn't be as composed as I was if it was someone else in the room talking about the same experiences I'm describing, or that if a little girl was telling me she was experiencing the things I'd just described that I'd want to wrap my arms around her. I eventually acknowledged that it would break my heart a little.
Friday he said when I describe [a specific recurring experience] he imagines being a child experiencing [it] and how upsetting and scary that would be.
These last few sessions in general he's been validating how stressful and upsetting those situations would have been.

If he is feeling the way he's pointing out I'd feel listening to someone recount these experiences, it would be helpful and "validating" to see/hear more of that from him. I don't expect him to cry or anything ridiculous like that. I'm not describing anything that bad. Idk maybe just him saying it's upsetting to him that I had to go through that? If he said that I'd probably just break down sobbing.
Idk it would show me that I'm allowed to be upset and it's not stupid and my feelings matter and those experiences matter and that that little girl whose experiences we're discussing mattered.

He's not a mind reader and I can't expect him to figure out that the "rules" have changed and it would be beneficial to get somewhat more of an emotional response now.

I also don't think I can tell him though. Because what if he really doesn't feel that strongly about it? What if he's not maintaining control over his own emotional response for my benefit, he just isn't affected by any of this, and it would be presumptuous to think otherwise? It's not like it's some terrible horrific abuse event I'm describing, it's just getting yelled at and feeling alone. I'm sure he hears much more upsetting stuff during most sessions with other patients.

What if I don't have a right to ask for this? It would be asking for a form of emotional intimacy and that feels dirty and wrong and bad.
I don't think I could handle being told no, no matter how kindly he tried to do it.

Has anyone managed to bring it up or had this kind of conversation with their T? How did it go?
Any advice/suggestions?

I'm considering trying to start with a conversation about eye contact and how I hide my face because part of me wants to let myself look up and see that he means what he's saying.
The two are kind of related. I want to look at him to see if there's an emotional reaction and to feel like he does care. And wanting that emotional intimacy feels bad and dirty and wrong and not allowed.