My T is a little more than 5 yrs younger than I am. I concluded that for me, and how I think it works for me, is that she is old enough to be a mother to the part(s) that see her as mommy or mom. I feel young(er) when I am in those head spaces. Then again, I've started questioning how much of what is going on between us is transference and how much is surrogacy. It is clear to me that sometimes I am transferring feelings, behaviors, and implicit memories I have from my childhood onto her and our relationship. Other times it seems that our relationship in this dynamic is organically us (between T, felt as "mommy", and one of my younger selves). Some may think of this as reparenting and maybe it is, I'm not sure. It feels like through these interactions:

• I feel heard, attended to, loved, important, special...
• I get her voice/words to add to the other voices in my head.
• I have a model on how I should interact with my inner self.
• At times, something does feel like it is being filled up rather than just covered up/over.

What I do know is that in those moments, is my feelings are not the same I have for my mother nor coming from/towards my mother. They seem to be from T and towards a mommy object.

btw - for this type of therapy, I do not believe I would see a therapist that was significantly younger than me. When I saw T2 for the few sessions I did, he was much different in how he practiced. I don't think I would ever have seen him as a father figure, though I could easily have seen him as an older brother, which I do with many men that have certain energy even though I am the oldest in my family. I am not sure why many men become older brothers to me and since I don't have one, not sure how transference plays into it. Interesting thing to explore one day.