The cognitive deficits are what I find to be the most frustrating part of my illness. My short-term memory is horrid, I have trouble with word-finding, and I can't memorize anything so learning and retaining new information is very difficult, if not impossible. I have had two different psychiatrists tell me that it's not dementia (which I feared) but brain damage due to repeated bipolar episodes and medications. There's not much that can be done about it, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's or some other kind of dementing disease process.

As it is, I'm learning to live with it and laugh off the instances where my kids catch me being a doofus ("Mom, you've told me that three times today"). I also have taught myself to say out loud what I'm doing and where I'm putting something, like my phone and keys ("I am putting my phone on the dresser"). It sounds really simple and stupid but it works for the most part.