You are welcome. I am glad to hear your therapy is going well. And I agree with what you are saying about him being old enough to know. It happened in secret. I think he knew. Did he tell you to never repeat that? That is one of an abuser's routines. And I hear you on the blaming, I did that too in my background.

I know that this is painful and is brutal to face. However, once you get through this, it will lose its power over you and you continue to heal. Your tears are a huge part of your healing. You get that toxic waste out of your system! And that helps you gain strength to face other obstacles we all encounter in our lives.

Good for you for facing what hurts you!! Slowly, day by day, you'll get there. Remember to pace yourself and balance yourself. Grieving is important, but so is having fun.

How are you doing on your sobriety? As you get through your painful issues, your craving to escape becomes easier to manage because you can make better choices on what to do.