it’s important for me to have my space to pursue my hobbies and spend time with friends. I don’t believe in being attached to the hip. I need ton of space do my own things.

At the same time I don’t believe in separation in commited relationship. When you are engaged or married, it’s unreasonable to separate and expect other person still be there imho. Having space to do things and pausing a relationship isn’t the same thing

If my husband wanted to separate and expected me to be right there when he comes back, I’d laugh. I do not sit around waiting. People are either ready or not ready for a relationship. If they aren’t ready, I am moving on.

Your guy took three years to get divorced. Sorry too long. Did he expect you to still be there after not seeing you for three years. Did he assume you’d be sitting around not dating waiting for three years? He is unrealistic. Unless he is in the war zone/combat, no one is going to wait for him

If he went no contact for a month, I’d consider engagement is over and I am free . I think ideas of commited and connected and intimate relationship is perfect. But then when you have that, you wouldn’t want or need separation and certainly non one would play games. The fact that 3 years of separation needed and he wouldn’t even see after all those years of you waiting does indicate issues and lack of commitment.

Your idea of a healthy relationship is very good and realistic. But it’s not going to be with this man. You have to find the right one for that (eventually)