Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
it’s important for me to have my space to pursue my hobbies and spend time with friends. I don’t believe in being attached to the hip. I need ton of space do my own things.
At the same time I don’t believe in separation in commited relationship. When you are engaged or married, it’s unreasonable to separate and expect other person still be there imho. Having space to do things and pausing a relationship isn’t the same thing
If my husband wanted to separate and expected me to be right there when he comes back, I’d laugh. I do not sit around waiting. People are either ready or not ready for a relationship. If they aren’t ready, I am moving on.
Your guy took three years to get divorced. Sorry too long. Did he expect you to still be there after not seeing you for three years. Did he assume you’d be sitting around not dating waiting for three years? He is unrealistic. Unless he is in the war zone/combat, no one is going to wait for him
If he went no contact for a month, I’d consider engagement is over and I am free . I think ideas of commited and connected and intimate relationship is perfect. But then when you have that, you wouldn’t want or need separation and certainly non one would play games. The fact that 3 years of separation needed and he wouldn’t even see after all those years of you waiting does indicate issues and lack of commitment.
Your idea of a healthy relationship is very good and realistic. But it’s not going to be with this man. You have to find the right one for that (eventually)
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It took him five years to get divorced. We had a 3 year long distance relationship while he was married and then when I found out he hadn't filed for divorce I ended it until he got divorced. He on the other hand broke up with me one month before his divorce was final, that was last year. I have seen him just once this year and that was when he came over after I called him hysterical because my friend and seen him out in public with a woman. He claims that one woman was one of his clients, he's a peer counselor. I know he is not committed to me. He said he broke up with me in November 2017. I don't know why he told me he loves me and to fix it last month. Tomorrow will be 30 days of no contact from him, and no action on facebook either. I can not believe how harsh his aunt was towards me. I also can not believe his cousin ignored me although his father told me she only talks to people who are right in front of her.
I also don't know why he left up at least three social media sites dedicated to our relationship. He has not deleted any of those accounts. He claims he is not with anyone. He is known to do these disappearing acts, but he's never disappeared from me.