I don't do so well with questions, especially big open ended ones. The larger questions usually leave me staring, and with a blank mind. Or I answer them very concretely.

There have been any number of smaller ones, where he asks "Do you think..." and then restates what I've just said, and of course framed as a question I can only answer no, that sounds ridiculous and of course I know it isn't true.

But for me the statements have a far greater effect. I still am struck by his stating, and then acting on the statement, that if I ask for what I want the answer may be no, but if I don't ask for what I want the answer is almost sure to be no. And that there's never anything that's wrong to ask, as long as you realize the answer may be no.

But I am afraid to say that I get my most important insights while arguing. When he gets something wrong and I'm trying to correct him, or when he disagrees with me and I'm trying to defend my position, my brain works harder and I come up with my best insights.

Other than in the bath. I come up with my very best insights in the bath.

(I wouldn't marry myself. We'd be too much alike for it to work. But my husband isn't so very bad off married to me. I'm nowhere near perfect and there is lots about me I'd like to change. But that's also true of him and everyone else I know. The important thing is that for the most part we have complementary weaknesses and strengths.)