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Defective said:
Now im really having fun as i laugh but in my head i know ive already lost and theres no hope for a positive future.

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There is always hope while we breathe even when we feel hopeless. I know of this paradox,,I have been hopeless but still kept breathing in hope of hope.

And it came.

But I had to wait and the waiting is sometimes the most awfull part. Patience is truely a virtue and one that has always come hard to me.

But I am learning slowly about clocks and how we all have one inside of us that has little to do with the one on the wall. It tics and it tocs but often to a beat of a far away drummer,,one that is connected to a world of events that I am still not conscious of...

And I wait again...

Waiting is not wrong, even the heart waits for the signal to beat again..

Lenny