Thank you for very much for your insightful and non-judgmental reply. I was largely "no contact" with my father for several years prior to his death. All but one family member is extremely judgmental about my decision as they sort of bought into his abuse/persona if that makes sense.

I did return home to see him in the hospital (in a coma at the time) and participated in the funeral. I was in therapy at the time but that is part of the reason I stopped. The therapist pressured me intensely...actually told me I'd be a "coward" if I didn't return home (my mother also pressured) and I am still not sure if that was the right decision for me.

I no longer see that therapist. I am reluctant to find a new one though I feel I probably need to. I do believe in the therapeutic process. It just stings when you trust one who is less than professional at the most sensitive times.

I like your idea of taking a break from my family. I feel that is what I need right now. My significant other agrees.

Thank you again! I don't know anyone else in my life who is dealing with this type of situation. It can feel very lonely but I do my best!