I understand this. It makes me think of what I was trying to describe to my T yesterday where I'd felt a particular connection to him when we discussed stuff with my D's autism. I said he just seemed different in those conversations but didn't know how to explain it. In terms of the stuff with personal life, I've at times noted sadness in the eyes. I remember telling ex-T that I noticed sadness in the eyes of ex-MC, and she said I was very observant (I later learned his wife was dying...) I feel I've noticed some sadness with current T lately but feel weird bringing it up because he's fairly private about his personal life. And just saying "you seem sad" or "You seem kind of darker lately," I don't know how he'd take that. So it's an awkward situation. Just attempting to say I understand what you're talking about.