I've been really keyed up and notice I've been taking my benzos more frequently.... not even just for anxiety, but to bring down the mania a notch to be able to think a little bit more clearly and not be all over the place. I'm getting fleeting bursts of euphoria coupled with racing thoughts. I've been writing lots and lots of poems. I'm holding on to any insight that I have left, but there's that feeling of doom that this won't end well.