I am up but am molasses today.

I keep reminding myself to challenge thoughts.
I didn't feel pathetic when I made the little creatures, idk why yesterday I kept thinking I was pathetic,... well in a way I do.
I am touched for those who enjoyed them and brought a smile.

I need to do self care today, like shower and such.
My ex likes me and cares about me, that's why he hangs out with me and worries at times.
I just wish I was more loving all the time, I wish our relationship was different and we both could had provided what ourselves and each other needed... a relationship of growth is what I desired.

I keep forgetting to buy trash bags.
I will mail out the box and one card.
I am still on the fence with sending the brother I am leery of a card.. because I get it, he has issues.. and also I only know part of the story.. and when he was a teen he had apologized to me for the severe injury he had done when I was a toddler ((that one was a fractured skull and broken nose)).
I just dunno... and I am sorry I am me.
I am sorry if this is more PTSD and not bipolar, it's a struggle for me either way.