A therapist should not have told you that you were a coward if you chose not to see your father before he passed away. You should have instead been told you have a right to protect yourself emotionally, especially if you grew up with an abusive parent so that you ended up choosing to leave his environment for your own mental health and well being.

You should consider finding a new therapist so you can discuss this challenge along with the way a therapist encouraged you to feel guilt when you talked about not wanting to see your father after many years of not seeing him because his dysfunctional ways of behaving had such a bad affect on you.