So I talked to T...her not calling me back was basically a disciplinary thing because I self-harmed in my car immediately after session, instead of asking for help. And even more so because I emailed her while under the influence. She says she refuses to engage with those behaviors, because I’ve already made my choice. I understand, I guess. As I suspected...I got a long lecture about my behavior and stuff...i feel like crap right now, though...but I do understand why she had to do it. Not only is it her policy, it did teach me something valuable, even though I was furious at the time. Because I know that none of this felt good, and surely I will remember this next time if I want to do those things...