I was officially diagnosed with major depression recurrant & major anxiety back in 1994. It was bad enough I ended up on disability on my first application. It got worse the longer I was financially trapped in my bad marriage but I didn't understand that at the time & none of my pdocs I had nor T's saw it.

I also ended up with a dx of anorexia that really got so bad for awhile I was in & out of the medical hospital constantly between psych hospitalizations & holds.

Just before I was finally able to leave my marriage my mom was dying of cancer. Catching & confronting the home care person abusing her & the threats I got along with dealing with the police & an oncoligist who would not be honest with my mom.....I ended up with PTSD that was finally diagnosed too when all the symptoms finally hit.

After I left my H & moved to a place where I knew no one to start my life over at 54 I went to therapy & the first T I saw explained how many things I described going through were actually many traumas in my life. Doubt it was an actual diagnosis though. I finally ended up seeing 2 outstanding T's one initially was the group psychologist fir the 2 years of intense DBT I went through. It was like night & day. I finally had the words & the understanding of all I had gone through. I gained skills I had never learned & reinforced those I had managed to have developed through my life.

We got through that & have spent time integrating my past with my present & the wonderful friends I have made have helped me work on the interpersonal skills that were missing growing up with dysfunctional parents & marrying a dysfunctional H (for a total of 54 years out if my life)

I had no idea who I really was because I spent my life fighting their dysfunctions & always reacting rather than just being able to be myself.

Interesting how leaving my bad marriage after both my parents had died I have been able to control any anorexia though stress will trigger it & my depression & anxiety is totally gone other than what is NORMAL to experience when difficult things happen in one's life. The PTSD no longer effects me & the nightmares to excape my H or my parents no longer happens now that I am finally divorced & I am finishing my my marriage assets battle in the state we were married in. Had decent closure when I was back there for a court hearing last summer.

I always sensed life should feel like I finally feel now but I could never get there before I moved here 11 years ago. It has been a long 11 year process if healing & growing after a lifetime if stress & anxiety I never realized was happening to me.