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Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
I'm genuinely curious as to what kind of **** you had to deal with in your life to make you the way you are.
Other people might hate on me for what I'm about to say, but I honestly think that if you had a messed up childhood or had a lot of horrible things happen to you, than you might not be entirely to blame for your behavior.
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I have never liked other human beings tbh. In the kindergarten I used to be a reserved kid with just one "friend". I viewed other kids as "ugly repulsive things". I wasnt bullied or abused on any level by any of them but I knew I was way more intelligent than any of them simply by hearing all the crap they were saying and thinking "can they be anymore stupid"? that one friend I had was also quite trashy but he lived very close to me so for some reason I used to hang out with him.
I was a good, "obedient" kid til ,y 14th bday when something switched inside of me. I picked up smoking and needed money, first I used to steal fruit and veggies from peasants (not too large quantities) and then Id sell them to people. Then I figured out that I needed more money ending up in me stealing 3 gold rings from my overcaring grandmother. My logic was that there were dozens of rings in that jewelry box and that it wouldnt be noticed. And I was right; it was noticed years later and blamed on construction company workers who might had access to it. I still dont regret doing this btw; it was a pure rush of adrenaline to steal those rings and to sell them for scrap.
I havent been law obedient for as much as I can get away from since then. Never been jailed or even questioned for anything though
I keep an internal database of EVERY relevant sentence any of my contacts has ever had. My memory is beyond excellent and I remember a lot of tiny details in every conversation. Having this database allows me to build a psychological profile of the contact; his strengths and weaknesses; what he or she really wants in life and what kind of a dream I can sell to this person so that his or her psyche starts associating me with certain things. The main weapon here is showing authority and knowledge of certain things.
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If anything, I envy you. I wish I was as good at manipulating as you. Probably the only thing that keeps me from charming and manipulating people like you claim to do is that I am more on the socially awkward side of things. Holding a normal conversation is tiring to me. It's not that I don't understand people; because I do. It's simply because I don't have the patience to deal with people and their issues and drama.
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Here is the thing: most people are retards who look at the society and behave accordingly, obviously such limited people can not possibly lead or even maintain a great conversation.
Im 41 and do you know how many unusual, interesting and especially challenging people I have met during my adult life? half a dozen at the most. My childhood excluded.
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talking about this reminds me of a quote from the book "48 laws of power" by Robert Greene; "Be nice to somebody so they might benefit you later".
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My default mask when Im in public is that of a very nice, helpful guy. A bit sad yet usually funny, unpredictable and mysterious. Being nice to others is the very foundation of my way of life and of my way of viewing things. By not being nice one can lay the ground of a future relationship, no matter what kind of a relationship I mean.