I called H's doctor last night telling him to put H back on Wellbutrin. He did! H had another anxiety attack this morning and stormed out. Right now, he seems calm. I'm going to talk to my T on Monday about possibly getting a divorce. A part of me doesn't want to, but another part of me can't live like this. I don't deserve this. H threw a fit last night after getting home from the hospital, and demanded that my dad and I not force him to eat what we eat. I told him that's fine, but if he doesn't eat what I eat, he'll have to get food on his own. I don't think my H understands how serious I am about wanting to leave. I told him last night that if we get a divorce, he might lose his car unless he pays me for half of it. He said he was fine with paying me for it... And I was telling my dad that H can take half the money and spend it on chasing a delusional rare illness, and I'll take my half and go have a baby.

H's doctor called him today about his testosterone levels... I guess they're extremely low and could be causing all of this? That or his thyroid? Idk. I'm tired of it. Last night he thought he had a rare illness that only affects like 1 in 20,000 people. Then he figured out that he actually doesn't have that because he has hypothyroidism not hyper. Then he told me he has both hypo and hyper at the same exact time. I told him that's impossible.

I'm just sick of it and I don't understand. I mean, I injured my knee 12 years ago and the doctors couldn't figure out what happened. I have been in constant pain ever since. I complain some times, but usually I'll just put on my cream and move on. There's nothing anyone can do. Why does my H have to solve every little issue?

I'm tired.

Sorry for the rant.