Hello Dnester. I am sorry this happened to you. It sounds frightening and stressful. I believe the correct term for this (if you feel certain that your wishes regarding zero ejaculation were intentionally disregarded) is sexual assault. You did not give consent for ejaculation without a barrier (such as a condom) therefore your partner did not respect your boundaries and violated your trust. I have a couple of suggestions for you. These suggestions come from a place of peace and concern so please take them or leave them as you see fit.

Try to discuss this event with your partner (if you did not already) by calmly pointing out that your wishes were for zero vaginal ejaculation and zero unplanned pregnancy. You could say something like "please explain to me what happened from your point of view?" Sit back and wait to see how your partner responds. If he seems confused or apologetic or willing to discuss...it is possible that this was a sexual misunderstanding. That does happen sometimes and is a different thing from assault. Was this your only time of concern or is this a pattern??

If your partner responds with anger (when you calmly state your feelings/concerns) or defensiveness or stonewalling (refusing to discuss) then I recommend that you take some time to think things through on your own.

Do you know about Plan B? It is an over-the counter pill which can be taken within a few days of unprotected sex in order to prevent pregnancy. I don't know your value system or wishes but if you are not wishing to be pregnant and within ~ 72 hours of ejaculation, that is a legal option for you.

I think it is very important for you to have time to consider if your partner is a safe and respectful individual to be sharing your body with. A couple of things you posted suggest to me that you are possibly doubtful about that.

I have had several friends who dealt with rape and sexual assault...including within a marriage (her husband often ignored her refusal of consent). I have heard how traumatic these issues are. I would never want to condescend to you or tell you how to live your life but your post is very concerning. Please consider taking time for yourself. I believe that any respectful man would "pull out" on request. If not, is it possible he did not hear you or misunderstood in the moment?? Was this discussed ahead of time?

Hope this helps. Please consider Plan B asap (local drugstore) if you are worried about an unplanned pregnancy and it does not conflict with your belief system.

Remember that you are a precious being in the Universe and deserve to be treated that way. That includes respect for your physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual boundaries. Nobody "owns" or has rights to your body. Your body belongs only to you therefore you make the decisions about your vagina and uterus.

The literature on the "pull out method" is contentious though I know that many MDs say it is unsafe and unreliable for preventing pregnancy. I assume you already know that this would not protect you from STDs. You may like to talk this over with an OB-GYN and/or a sex therapist.

Peace and good health to you!