I am not sure if this is the right place for me to write. If there is another forum for this please let me know.

My spouse is bipolar and also has OCD. I actually think I might be bipolar as well but that is not why I am here. I need help or information on how to be a better spouse for him. (We are a gay married couple).

We have been together for ten years - married four years this coming April 2019. I knew he was bipolar when we met. I am ok with it. I just feel like I am making things worse for him.

For example The other day we went Christmas shopping. We got to a mall that we had talked about going in to get an A & W footlong, people watch (we like doing that) and shopping. My husband was driving. He literally drives around the parking lot TEN TIMES.....pulling into different parking spots he then decides not to stay in that spot for whatever reason: it is too close to the other car. The next spot there is a car when we get into it that has a smashed in door. He then decides that he does not want to park there due to the fact they probably won't care if they hit our car door when getting into their car and thus moves on to find another spot. This went on for quite a while after the tenth time I yelled just ******* park the car or let's just go back to the house!

I don't usually act like this but, it got to me. We find a spot. He says to me "You know that my mind does not work the way yours does. You know I am like this. You need to work with me. I am tired of being treated this way. It has been ten years of up and down and I am tired of it." Things have not been the same since we went shopping.

We have not had it easy these last ten years. I have been unemployed for three years now. I got hired three times this year and each of them fell through not because of me but because of changes in the workplace. (layoffs, funding, etc) My family fights us continually about being gay and married - his is supportive. The list just goes on and on but not worth getting into here.

I am feeling like such a loser. I love him so much and life without him would be terrible. I did not realize that he felt I was treating him badly about the bipolar or OCD. I know we are under a huge amount of stress. I know we love each other. I just need to figure out how to NOT explode like this again. I need some advice.

Does anyone have any thoughts about getting information to help me or any suggestions or ideas?

Thanks,

ReRe