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Mouse said:
I felt myself holding it all back,, not wanting her to see my anguish...then it started to snowball and I felt I would explode in a moment if she didnt say something...but she didn't and I suddenly wanted to hide my anger/pain away from her...didn't want her to get delight out of my anger/pain/frustration.

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I've experienced these feelings a lot in therapy. Not so much the last two session. But when I do experience the silence, I definitely want to hide what is going on in my head. I also assume that she gets pleasure out of me feeling this way. I don't know why I think she get pleasure out of torturing me. Especially when SHE is not torturing me, I"m torturing myself by not saying what is on my mind. How the hell does this sick cycle of thought develop?